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the statistical probability of meeting a lizard…

June 1, 2015

It seems readily apparent to everyone who pays attention to such things, (but, yet, always comes back to me as if again for the first time), that men, most men, do not understand even the very basic principles of getting laid – rules, that if you pay attention to them, will get you laid almost anytime you really want.*

Some men try to understand the rules** – but we are rather clumsy at it – for the rules are written in language that is obscure and didactic; – while most men, in my experience, do not know that the rules even exist. And a dangerous minority of men – the violent and the sociopathic – think they can make any rule they want, on any day of the week.***

You have to admit that our behavior often leaves little to be admired.

I was just jogging up South Park when a guy rolls down the window of his car and sticks his tongue out – lizard-like – between his two fingers (as if the tongue itself was not bad enough) – pointing it at two university girls walking on the sidewalk ahead of me.

You, my friend – are a flat-out idiot!

But guys like him are obvious, and easy to point out. It’s easy to say to my son “don’t be like that”.

Those idiot-men say they want to get laid, but they haven’t been laid in years – or ever. And they don’t really want to get laid at all. If you could somehow get them down to brasstacks in a conversation, you discover that they don’t really like women. At most, these guys really just want a blow job. What really gets these guys off isn’t about getting laid, it’s about power – power in all its forms.

I have no real solution for these men – save culling the herd – but we do know how best to control their anti-social tendencies.

I have worked with youth my entire life and I now know that not all men are born naturally equipped with pro-social genes – but, with education and community support, violence can be vastly tempered down to create much higher functioning societies (violence wise) – such as we see in Scandinavia.

We North American men are not, however, anywhere near our male Scandinavian counter-parts, and so there is still much work to be done.

But it is in this work-to-be-done that lies the crux: as men, we have to ask ourselves how much violence we want in our society.

(Brasstacks: very few men want zero violence.)

Most men want some level of violence in their culture – especially men who have never been shown better options growing up.

Some men want full-out violent anarchy. (If you have ever played hockey, or football as a kid, you met these kinds of men when they were still boys.**** Those boys who deliciously try to crosscheck you in the throat, or merrily break your leg in a football scrum.)

But again, this concept is dangerously disregarded in the conversation in discussions about violence and male mating habits.

Not surprising, women try to avoid these men as best they can.

As a society, we have mostly failed in the early identification of these men. Much less in constructively dealing with the violence and chaos they can create.

What the rest of us men fail to do is to admit that there is the urge-to-violence within us, within all men, and consequently we do very little at all to counter the violence that occurs in our society (which theoretically does not exist – should you follow the rules of logic to their conclusion).

To the man who stuck out his tongue at the two young girls in front me today, I impotently gave the middle finger as we passed each other by.

Will he think about it later? Wonder why another guy disapproved? Think about how his gesture made those girls feel? Think about his sister; or mother? Grandmother?

Not likely…

But not a total statistical improbability either…

* Not guaranteed in all instances – obviously.

**Rule #1: Do not talk about women as if they were mere sex objects. / Okay stop reading. / Read Rule #1 again. Read it again, and again. Meditate on it. Talk to your sisters about it. Talk to your mother about it. Talk to your friends about it. Read Rule #1 again. / If you choose to disregard the fundamental principles of this rule, you will be forever identified as an Idiot.^ They will not confuse you with the men of myth. You Do Not Pass Go. You Do Not Collect $200.^^

^ You can disregard this rule and still marry a woman. You may remain married to one even if she knows what you think. They may remain polite to you in the workplace…But that’s only because the game is rigged in your favour… Just understand that they will never respect you.

^^Do not talk about women like they are the little silver play-pieces in the Game of Monopoly.

*** I use the word “minority” loosely here – for there are many more men in this category then we often care to admit – it’s just that some are better at hiding it, then others.

**** There were no shortage of psychopaths on skates when I was playing hockey in some small Ontario town in the mid-seventies, and no shortage in the stands either, as I watched my father more than once also have to defend himself from the local hooligans in the stands.

One Comment leave one →
  1. cvnadagroup2017 permalink
    June 1, 2015 6:12 pm


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