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fun times…

May 6, 2014

Here are some fun one-line headlines out of today’s (May 6, 2014) Globe and Mail newspaper. (For Americans who do not know, the G&M is Canada’s version of the New York Times.)

Here are the headlines on the state of the universe:

1. The World Health Organization released an alert today, trying to get the world’s attention to the fact that a number of Political Leaders are using the “denial of access to children’s polio vaccine” as a war stratagem. Consequently, children’s polio – once all but defeated as a disease – is again on the rise.

2. The unity of Aboriginal Leaders across the country – and their denial of Harper’s attempt to introduce legislation unilaterally changing Aboriginal education policy – and the consequent resignation of Grand Chief Sean Ateo (who supported Harper’s legislation), and retraction of Harper to wait until a new Grand Chief is elected (despite the legislation having already passed second reading) – was an important – historical – moment in the re-birth of Aboriginal culture and political legitimacy . The fight is not over. But for right now – Bravo!

3. The result of Putin veering heavily to the right in Russian nationalist politics – in an attempt to salvage his otherwise failing leadership – the old Russian Bear is rustling with the awakening spring weather, and has the Ukrainian bread basket on his mind. The bear is making Europe nervous. NATO is wary, and keeping a close eye, while Generals on both sides are openly salivating in the media.

4. Nigella Lawson, hot-babe MILF chef du jour, admits to trying cocaine earlier in her life – and is subsequently not allowed admittance into the US where she was expecting to promote her new book. Ms Lawson has never been charged with anything in her life. Her only crime is that of making us all feel vaguely horny in the kitchen.

Rumor has it that the same thing may have happened to Rob Ford. Who, it was widely believed, was trying to go to quietly go to Chicago to do his stint in rehab (the Ford’s have a house in Chicago).

I guess the court of law no longer matters in such instances.

5. The new Plank Satellite image of the Milky Way looks like an Ansel Adams-inspired abstract painting of a mountain range being reflected in a lake. It reminds me of those mountain-reflected-in-a-lake pictures you see on cheap calendars.

6. Margaret Wente is still an idiot.

7. A billion people will go to bed hungry tonight – yet so much grain was produced last year that it still hasn’t all been sold. Subsequently farmers have not been paid and must borrow money from the banks to start producing this year’s crop.

8. Virus watchers have been closely monitoring the outbreak of MERS in the Middle East – primarily in Saudi Arabia. MERS is a flu-like virus that is currently 50% lethal. It has now jumped the pond, with the first case reported in the US.

9. Haiti officially raised their minimum wage today. By doing so, garment industry workers got an automatic 12.5% raise. They will now earn $5.11 for an 8 hour shift. (see #7)

10. At least 1,100 – and most likely more than 5,000 Aboriginal women have disappeared in Canada over the last 10 years. Stephen Harper announced yesterday that the government would not be holding a National Inquiry into the issue. People openly wonder what he would have done if it was 5,000 white women who had disappeared?

11. Thank You! The movie Showgirls is finally being seen for the classic that it is. It’s the kind of movie that is so bad, that it is brilliant. When viewed through the lens of Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas you realize that it is a brilliant and sad look at one woman’s attempt to ‘make it’ as a showgirl, on the Las Vegas strip. I’ve always hated the fact that film critics of the time berated it for its lousy acting and cheesy production values and could not see beyond into the real price these women pay to be famous. I’m glad to discover that it has a big cult following is many critics today are re-examining its value as a movie.

(One should always end the news with an entertainment report.)

Oh, and Go Habs Go! (forgot the sports report)

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