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How golden is the golden glow of gold!

February 23, 2014

Well, for another 4 years us Canadians can rest a little easier now that we have been crowned “hockey kings of the universe”. CBC will quickly turn today’s triumph into mythology – with images of the soldiers in Afghanistan, wild cheetahs running across the savannah, prayers to God, and young girls crying in the streets.

For what are we if we are not hockey Gods?

We may not be able to compete in the World Cup, where grown men chase a soccer ball around the field, so we will chase a puck around on the ice -faster harder and more triumphantly than any other country.

We may be the biggest wasters of natural resources per capita of any people on the planet, but today we are kings!

We may have just come in near dead last in a global survey on how much sex we have as a people, but when we do, we produce big boys and girls who can play hockey better than any other people on the globe.

And was it ever in doubt. Sure, absolutely. We fretted and wrung our hands at the fact that we weren’t scoring enough goals. That we were ripe for the picking. Oh, how Canadians like to worry and second guess and doubt such things. For our greatest fear is that we are not good enough to be on the world stage.

But there never was a doubt, really. We dominated play in every game. The men gave up three goals in the entire tournament. 75% of the play was always in the opposing end. Never have I seen such a dominance of Canadian hockey at the Olympic level.

And never have I seen a game as exciting – at least for us (not so much for the Americans) – as the women’s gold medal game. It easily equalled the overtime win in Vancouver by the men 4 years ago.

Today, we bask in our hockey glory. Tomorrow we may go back to saying please and thank you and no sex tonight dear – but for today – we are champions.

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