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McRobot says: “Please select fries with that.”

May 19, 2011

Attention those among us who stand on the front lines of the consumer warzone!

All you heroes of hairnets and paper hats!

Of milk frother, and deep fryer!

Of food courts around the world!

Those $10.25/hr saints we trust to keep chaos at bay…

To sedate the hungry mobs!

And keep alert the sleepless masses!

You savants of speedy service!

You purveyors of processed food!

You are all officially on notice –

Your days of beef patties and caramel machiattos may well be numbered!

That all-powerful hand across the nations:

McDonald’s has made the bold move!

The corporate titan has launched a pilot project across Europe, replacing customer service staff with a fleet of automated touch screens!

Just select your order at the push of a button, swipe your card – and that’s all she wrote…

Better living through technology!

Setting aside the fact that as of 2010, 50% of all jobs in Toronto were in customer service – we have bigger problems to think about!

For instance, what will middle class parents wield as scare tactics against their directionless teens once we lose the derisive catch-all: “Do you want fries with that?”

And, on a more personal level, as a soon-to-be university graduate with a BA in Classics and Religious Studies, I was really counting on those service jobs!

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