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“And that’s why I love hockey…

May 9, 2011

Who would want to live in a house, a house you could only own, if you agreed to belong to a local Home Owners Association?

(For those of you who do not know what a HOA is: they are the local fascistas who demand from you absolute conformity to a community norm. They set the rules on the length of grass you will have (preferably 3 inches, not more than 5.”), they prohibit clotheslines, and outlaw lawn signs; they will tell you if, and where, you can plant a tree on your property, and they will even control your choice of colors when you decide to re-paint your house.)

A Neighbourhood Watch program is one thing (what with everyone keeping an eye on everyone else), but the people who like belonging to HOA’s are a whole other subspecies of the beast. 

Imagine! Whole communities of obssessive compulsives! With their grass cut crisp and neat, the fences nice and straight and white, and the driveways freshly tarred. Where everyone moves around vacuously – happy and clean – and always through a sunny Saturday afternoon. As if they all lived in a Tide commercial. Such happiness!

So I have no real sympathy for the man in the recent news (see below) who has been fighting with his HOA in Tampa Bay, Florida, over their demand that he remove his Tampa Bay Lightening hockey sign from his front lawn. What does he expect, having already signed his HOA agreement, which by the way, is a legal document. 

He’s already agreed to outlaw birthday party signs, rainbow signs, all political signs, – any signs at all. If that is the standard, why would he think that they would allow him to put a professional hockey team’s corporate logo in his front yard? It’s the suburbs of Tampa Bay for fuck’s sake! The community does have, afterall, a sense of decorum.

But then good for him, for fighting back. A libertarian was born. (Kind of…) 

And we need all the fascists resisters we can find. No matter what triggers their little acts of resistence. Or where they live.

And none of it would have happened if the Tampa Bay Lightening hadn’t made the playoffs.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Brittaney permalink
    May 9, 2011 9:23 am

    I should tell you about the Home Owner’s Association at the village at York. They wanted to start some ‘Town and Gown’ in the community just off campus. We dealt with them last year following a sexual assault… the man in charge attended a meeting we had regarding safety in the community. Rather than expressing the problems students face re: sexual assault in the York community, his reaction following the attack was something along the lines of “My wife heard the screams during the attack… but how was she supposed to know there was something going on, when there’s ALWAYS so much screaming going on in the neighbourhood?”
    The worst is, they totally sugar coat the membership and actually make it look appealing to some students. I feel like if peace, quiet and single-family dwellings is what you’re looking for, you probably shouldn’t have chosen to live in ‘the Village at York University’.

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